So here is where the real progress begins. i finally found some books about these really Dominant men who were very possessive and protective of their women. Hmm sounded like something i would like. i couldn’t put the books down, one after the other i finally found what i was looking for and a little information on this being a lifestyle for some…. i’m sorry what?! Yes please!! Problem is, i didn’t know anyone who i could trust with this kind of relationship, who wouldn’t break my heart. Until i met Him. Yes i am talking about Daddy.
It started off as a night out with that girl friend i told Y/you about. It was her birthday and halloween. So of course W/we dressed up as gothic whores and went out dancing and drinking. Except tonight He was meeting us at the bar. i’d never met Him before and didn’t think anything of it. That was until He started walking towards us all confident and mysterious looking. W/we danced and drank and danced some more. Until oops my friend was telling us that we needed to cool it before we got kicked out? Apparently His hand was down my skirt and my hair fisted in His one hand, while His other hand was around my neck… How did that happen? Yes it was that powerful from the night W/we met.
W/we kept things casual at first, just friends with some fun benefits. Or i guess, i kept it casual. i didn’t want a relationship, just some fun. Until He didn’t want to do just fun and was ready to end things between U/us. Amazing how quickly my mind told me how silly i was being. W/we didn’t start off as D/s though. He actually didn’t even know anything about it and i was still learning a lot myself.
W/we started off as vanilla, with a little bit of kink thrown in. Went to a sex club, bought a cute little flogger, bought a few other toys along the way. Slowly i started introducing Him to some of my books, just to see if it interested Him. It did, very much, but He kept telling me that i was too stubborn to be that obedient. He was right, as much as i wanted it, i always pushed back when it came down to trying it out for a scene. It was very frustrating for me. He wasn’t worried. He was happy with the way things were, and so was i, but i also really wanted what i was reading in my books and i knew He was interested in that as well.
The next few years were very stressful. W/we started a business together (a retail store at that) and Daddy’s mum became terminally ill and had to move in with U/us to help take care of her. Oh, and to top it off, W/we decided to throw O/our wedding in the mix as well. Which was amazing, but didn’t help with the stress. Three years into having the business and all the struggles that come along with it, a year into having His mum living with U/us and bed bound from her illness and right after the wedding excitement was over, i was feeling exhausted. Stressed beyond belief and ready to have a breakdown. So what was the next logical step? W/we decided to try out the D/s dynamic once and for all.
A lot of people told U/us W/we were crazy to throw that in the mix of everything else. The thing is, it provided more structure in O/our lives where there wasn’t before. It actually really helped relieve a lot of the stress W/we were having. It also felt so nice to have clear expectations and rules in place for me to follow. There weren’t a lot of rules, because that would cause more stress by having to remember that much more. It was amazing. There were some bumps in the road as W/we both tried to figure out O/our roles better. W/we joined some websites and made friends and mentors in the lifestyle. That helped U/us through a lot of O/our initial bumps and concerns. W/we continued to read everything W/we could about BDSM and slowly learned which sources were good and which were not so good. Daddy had me start a journal, which i still write in every second night. The journal is my safe place to write down all of my feelings, concerns, excitements, or whatever i need. He reads what i write in it without judgement and if there is something He feels W/we need to talk about, He opens a discussion on it. W/we have really good communication and He can read my feelings like a book, so most of the stuff is not a surprise to Him, but it is still nice to have. i also have a document that Daddy did up with rules that He put in place (things like; at meals i am not to eat until He has had His first bite, when W/we go out for food, i am not to order for myself, i am to tell Him what i want and He orders for me, etc.) and another document with a weekly schedule of things that He wants me to do (things like; laundry, housework, self care, etc). Some of these rules started from the very beginning, some were incorporated later on. He also gives me tasks every now and then to do. Sometimes it is to write a story about (enter topic here) or draw a picture of something, write a blog, or other similar things. Daddy knows that i enjoy being creative, so He tends to play on that most of the time.
W/we started off as mostly in the bedroom, with a few rules and guidelines outside of that. Oh and Daddy did not want to be called Daddy. It was weird to Him. He has kids (teenagers) who call Him that. So Daddy was Master. It didn’t feel right to me though. It felt to impersonal in a way. So W/we tried out Sir, but He wasn’t happy with that as it is a title He wanted me to use when it came to other Dominants. So W/we were a little stuck on with that for a while. It didn’t take very long before there were a few more rules and things that were meant more for outside the bedroom.
W/we got into impact play early on. W/we already had one little flogger, but decided to add a few more impact toys and explored with that. i absolutely fell in love with it and Daddy realized He had quite a bit of Sadist in Him! i think the stress relief that W/we both were able to get out of it played a huge factor in O/our love of it.
W/we came across kitten play a few months in, which was amazing to me. He had always told me that i was like a kitten with the way i cuddled and reacted to Him and this play really hit home. It was all happening so fast and each time something new was introduced, it threw U/us for a loop in how to incorporate it into what W/we already had. Now, of course, i had to get myself some kitten play toys to add to O/our fast growing collection.
Then came Christmas time. Daddy wanted to make it official and collar me. W/we didn’t want a neck collar, because family would be weird about it and with O/our retail store, W/we didn’t want a locked collar on my neck, but W/we did want something that locked. So W/we went on Etsy and found a beautiful locked anklet (store name; To Be His). It came to U/us a few months later (as they need time to make it in your size) and i have been wearing it ever since, 24/7!
A few months later W/we learned a little bit more about DD/lg (Daddy Dom/ little girl) dynamics. This intrigued me a lot as i did tend to have my little girl moments with a lot of things in life (stuffed animals, crafts/colouring, movies, etc.). Daddy and i had been talking to another little online quite a bit and He was also intrigued by the idea. He loved caring for me as His kitten and absolutely loves being a Dad, but His kids are more grown up and independent now. He started by buying me a stuffie (a bernese mountain dog named Banjo) and some colouring books and crayons. He called me His little one when i was in my little space and W/we watched my favourite kids movies together. Daddy really liked little space time and decided that He wanted to try out the title Daddy, i guess Y/you know how that turned out! It was a struggle at first of being able to get into and out of the head space, but it gets easier with time. W/we have also had struggles of Daddy identifying my little space at times and not pulling me out with ‘adult talk’ (whether that be work, drama or sexy talk), but again it takes time to learn and be able to follow those head spaces. i remember the first time i was in little space and Daddy called me kitten. Even something that simple confused my head space as i am sexual in kitten play, but not little space.
Last month, W/we went to visit that little friend i just told Y/you about. W/we were in England for two week and spent some of that time with her. The first compromise was names. Daddy had called her little one from the time He started talking to her in little space, but as His submissive, that should be my name right? Yes and no. It felt weird to me to take the name, knowing that He called her that before i ever had little space time with Him. So i went through some names in my head and asked Daddy what He thought about calling me pumpkin. He was surprised at first that i was willing to give up the little one title, but when i explained that it was her title first and i liked the name pumpkin, He was very happy with it as well. It was a very emotional and exciting experience to visit with O/our friend. W/we spent two weekends with her. The first weekend, W/we spent a good amount of time in little space together and it was super fun, like having an adopted sister. W/we did all kinds of activities from colouring, to going to build-a-bear, to a petting zoo at a park where we could feed the animals. W/we put bows in O/our hair had a blast playing together. i remember being told ahead of time by someone that it might not be as fun as i think, because littles tend to get super jealous of sharing their Daddy time. Funny thing is, in little space, i had no jealousy of any attention given to O/our friend. i did, however have a harder time with the attention given while not in little space. There are a few things to keep in mind here. i am with Daddy 24/7. W/we work together, eat together, sleep together and communication is constant for everything. For the weekend visit, W/we did all this with my little friend. She also slept in the same bed as U/us. This meant that W/we had no private communication through the entire weekend, which W/we are not used to at all. So yes it was a bit hard at times and emotional, but i wouldn’t change it for the world. At least i know i could never be poly.
During the rest of O/our visit, W/we had an impact session one night. This was the first time using O/our new cane. My new favourite toy by the way. Daddy really enjoyed this session. It was the first time that He was able to get me to a state of hysterical laughter. No matter where or how hard He hit with the cane, i was laughing. It was also the first impact scene where i hit non-responsive sub space multiple times, as well as hit it once during after care in the bath. i don’t know if it was just from how relaxed W/we were, being on vacation or what, but it was pretty amazing.
W/we also had another night with super aggressive, face slapping, ass spanking sex, where i hit non-responsive sub space after it was done. i didn’t even know that was possible. i was also feeling slighter levels of sub space just from Daddy scraping His nails down my arm or grabbing the back of my neck firmly. Daddy and i usually have a lot of stress in O/our lives, so my guess would be that the state of relaxation had a lot to do with this.
Now W/we are back to reality. Working a lot and busy all the time. i am missing the attention i was able to get on vacation, but know it is impossible to stay in la la land forever. i am excited for the future and to continue to grow in O/our dynamic and life!