My children have now mostly grown up and are starting to go on adventures of their own in search of starting their life adventures.  I have loved every second of being a Dad and I was one of those Dad’s that would do anything for his kids.  In theory, I was more of a Mom role then a Dad role with them growing up because I was the caring and compassionate one in the relationship.  Even to this day when my kids are 14 and 17, they are still my world.

Many years later after a failed 13 year marriage, I found my true soul mate in My kitten.  We have been married for going on three years and in a D/s dynamic 24/7.  I am happier then ever but then it got even better about 6 months ago.  My submissive/wife found a little space that I can honestly say was always there but we weren’t able to give it a name.

One thing that always intrigued me about kitten is that she would act exactly like one.  She would cuddle me, head bump me and paw at me at every chance she had.  She would talk in a little voice at times when asking for things or if she wanted to do something.  At the beginning I just thought it was a cute thing that I adored but it has blossomed into something a lot more then that now.

As soon as we started our journey into D/s we released that I could give her true kitten play time which was fun and exciting.  The ability to be the animal persona that you have always been but with strictness and intent.  This was amazing for both of us and if we had more time, kitten would be able to come out in pet play a lot more but that isn’t the reality of our busy lives.   It takes planning out blocks of time to do kitten play and that is hard for us.

And now we come to the part that is the title of the blog. 🙂  I think the lack of time for kitten play may have jump started the ‘little’ persona in kitten and made it grow a lot quicker.  We also have a friend in the UK who is little space 24/7 when she is talking to me and once her and kitten starting talking I noticed that kitten was taking on a lot of the same qualities.    Looking back, I can’t remember if it was kitten or I that really noticed it but the little space moments didn’t last long at the beginning as it was very hard for kitten to give up the adult brain.

Once it was recognized and labeled, kitten was determined to learn to enjoy this new found sense of freedom from adult reality.  Over the next few months it started with coloring books and children’s movies which worked well.  Then it was PJ’s, sippy cups, stuffies, lego, play-dough and children’s stories.  Finally we have evolved the little space into onesies and pacifiers.  Most nights after work involve some heavy little space time where she is told to put on outfits or grab her sippy cup and paci.  She immediately goes into little space and stays there till after we are asleep.

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Little space is usually associated with triggers.  I have the ability to put her into little space and also pull her out of it.  Now, putting her into little space can be done at any time but pulling her out of it is a LOT harder and confusing to her if it isn’t done right.  The first trigger i have is names and this is a powerful one.  When in little space she is My “pumpkin” but in adult space she is my “kitten”.  Other more confusing triggers involve things like allowing her to check her phone and then she sees business stuff pop up and  BAM, she is out of little space and has almost withdrawal symptoms.  So, if I want to keep her in one type of headspace then I really need to pre-plan for everything.

Now, from a Daddy Dom perspective, what are some of the pros and cons of being a Daddy Dom?  Let me list some below and we will chat about each one in a bit more detail:

  • kitten gets to free her head
    • This is a bonus for kitten and Myself.  kitten is a tightly wound individual at most times that takes on a lot of stress which can manifest into frustrating moments over smaller things during the day.  These smaller moments of frustration can be very stressful for those around her as she is focal.  I feel that the little space has helped reduce down her life stress and has made those frustrating moments less intense and frequent.  Therefore my stress is reduced too.
  • I get to be a Daddy again
    • The feeling that I get when I am being relied on and requested for even the small things is invigorating.  Brushing kitten’s hair in the morning, reading a bed time story, filling up her sippy cup MANY times a night, or carrying for boo-boo’s are things I used to live for when my kids were little.  Being able to come home with my adult kitten and then instantly get her into little space is amazing.  The Daddy part of Me loves little space.
  • Non-sexual little space
    • This is the single biggest hurdle that I have had to get over in the little space and I didn’t want to bury it at the bottom so we will talk about it now.  kitten is a non-sexual little and even the conversations have to be non-sexual or I get a cute scowl from her.  As a VERY sexual Dominant, this means less sexy time as little space is a big part of her home time now.  What I have learned to do in this situation is multi leveled.  If I want a sexual scene or sexual contact then I will not get her into little space when we get home by telling her that I want my kitten tonight.  This is a way to let her know that the night will have sexy stuff in it.  If she falls into little space naturally then I can pull her out by using her “kitten” name to ensure she doesn’t slide into her little brain.  But in the end, I have less sexual release since kitten has found her little persona.  I substitute it for more masturbation and better pre-planning for sexually frustrating times.  In giving up some sexual release, I get a lot of other attention that my body craves like being a Daddy again.
  • little days!
    • This is one side of the little time that I am going to take advantage of a lot more when the weather gets a little warmer.  We agreed a few months ago that every single month we would plan at least one day where it was all about little.  We would go do something exciting in public or in private which involved complete little space.  Outfit wise involves pig tails and bows but since kitten is not into embarrassment, there are no paci’s or anything that would visually identify her as a little.  This adds a whole new challenge to the Daddy Dom because you have to keep the adult brain turned off.  In private it is easy but in public it is VERY hard.  I think on our next outing, her cell phone will be taken away because it is too hard for her to remain in little space when work starts calling.  We are working on this and i will update this blog or write a new one when it is all figured out.

I am sure there are more pros and cons but I am also sure that there will be either updates to this blog or I will write a new one as “Part 2” at some point.  So we will sum up my overall thoughts about little space.

Little space is an amazing place that allows your submissive to be free from the adult world and reduce stress.  One of the major things about submission to us has always been about passing off 100% of the control to the Dominant and reducing stress so little space to us is almost taking that to a deeper level.  Complete reliance on your Dominant to take care of the submissive’s needs at all times.  As things progress in our dynamic, I can see things making more sense and a normality to the things we do.  As first things are hard, awkward, weird but as time goes on we start to learn from those things, refine them and enjoy them as “normal”.  I wouldn’t give up little space for the world and can’t wait to continue to grow it.

First and foremost, for those who don’t know, little’s are adults that age regress to someone typically between 2 to 12 years of age.  It is an opportunity to turn off your adult brain and go into a “safe zone” where you don’t have to worry about the daily problems of the world.  Little’s are not limited by a specific sex, or a specific dynamic and are not limited to just submissive’s.  But, for the purpose of this bog, we are going to talk about the larger majority of little’s being those that are submissive either looking at getting into a D/s dynamic or already involved in a D/s dynamic.

A lot of new Dominants have no idea what a little is or how they deal with one.  There is no magical instruction book that goes along with this unfortunately.  Each little is highly unique in their needs, wants and what is allowed while in little space.  What I mean by “allowed” is what they feel comfortable with.  These things will need to be figured out and understood before it is recommended that you interact with them in little space.

The most important thing to learn about your little that you are interacting with is whether or not they are sexual while in little space.  The larger majority of little’s are non-sexual and any talk about sexuality or physical advances will result in a negative experience for them.  Sometimes it will abruptly and negatively break them out of the head space while other times they will just get VERY grumpy.  You always want to do what is best for your little to make the experience positive for you and for them.

My submissive is a non-sexual little so I have had to learn quite a bit.  She is usually in the age range of about 6 years old.  When in little space she requires quite a bit of care and I am the caregiver for her.  She is still submissive and will follow rules and structure but the rules have to be catered to her age.  Communication must also be tailored to her age.  In my dynamic, it is real life 24/7 but I will provide a bit more information for those of you that are looking at long distance relationships/dynamics.  Long distance is a bit harder and requires a few additional things to keep in mind.

What things does my little require of Me?  (Unique to My dynamic but pretty universal)

  • Caring and understanding.
  • Communication appropriate for her age regression.
    • No sexual talk.
    • Smaller words and CLEAR communication that can be interpreted.
  • Entertainment appropriate for her age.
    • Kids movies and TV shows.
    • Activities such as coloring, crafts or games.
  • Child specific items.
    • Blankies.
    • Stuffies.
    • Non-leaking cups, child plates, child utensils.
    • Food and drink appropriate to keep them in the head space.
  • Rewards for good behavior or completing tasks.
    • Stickers.
    • Sweets.
    • Hugs and tickles work well.

You may be thinking “Man, this sounds like a LOT of work.  Why do you do it?”.  The answer to that is VERY simple for Me and it may be very different for anyone else.  I identify as a Daddy Dom because I enjoy it.  My own children are grown up and I always adored being a Dad.  The pure innocence of children is a beautiful thing and I cherish it.  Having My submissive feel comfortable and trusting enough for Me to take care of her while she is little is a honor.  Keeping them comfortable in the head space can be a challenge at first but you will get it eventually.

Long distance relationships with a submissive who is also a little.  Being in a real life scenario can be quite a bit easier then what would be required of you but with that said, it is VERY manageable.  The first thing you need to figure out is your little’s triggers that put them into little space and how to identify which head space they are in at any given time.  My submissive is nicknamed “kitten” when in adult space and “pumpkin” when in little space.  What I would suggest is that you come with a question for them to identify which head space they are in to when you first chat with them.  Something like “How is My girl doing today?”  This is a great opportunity for Your submissive to answer one of the following:

  • Sample little space answers:
    • “Your little girl is doing great but I want to do coloring!”
    • “Great Daddy, I wuv you!”
  • Sample adult space answers:
    • “Doing great, how are you?”
    • “Awesome now that I am chatting to you!”

Another situation you will run into as a long distance relationship with a little is the helplessness of not being there to be the caregiver they require.  This can make a Dominant feel very helpless.  Even though they are little, they can still do things like follow instructions that you give them and follow-through.  They are sad?  Ask them to get their favorite stuffy or blanket to soothe them.  They want to color?  Ask them to retreive their paper and crayons but give them a task of something you would like them to draw for you.  They are hungry?  Ask them what they have available to eat and have them retrieve it while giving them instructions on how much you will allow them to eat or drink.  By providing them structure, caring and love then you are providing for them as much as you can.  They will absolutely appreciate it.

With any luck you will be able to identify what space your submissive is in and adjust your own mind set to coincide with it.  It is ABSOLUTELY a learning process dealing with a little.  It will take time but with patience and understanding you can both grow your knowledge of each other and advance your dynamic.